International Women's Day

Tomorrow is International Women's Day.  According to the Office for Women's Policy, an Australian Government department, this day celebrates the achievements and gains made by women and draws attention to the gender equity gap that still exists.  This past week was also a celebration of my university cohort who celebrated their university graduation. For many of the women in my cohort it was also a celebration of success over adversity and marks new opportunities for women.  I guess you should be aware that for many of us we are over 25 and under 50.  For the older of us, myself included, it was especially celebratory because when we left school we thought our opportunity to study at university was all but lost. 

For my part I took the decision with my partner that our children should have a stay at home parent until they were ready for some independence.  That task fell to me because, as is the case with many women, my earning capacity was limited by my education.  My partner earned and was likely to earn more money.  Having him take on the role of earner and me carer was sensible.  I addressed my responsibilities with pride and was an active mother in preparing my children to be responsible citizens of the world.  It was clear that after 10 years of fulltime parenting and with children installed in school that it was time to focus on how I could make up ground in contributing financially and substantially to our family unit.  I decided, with the support and encouragement  of my partner, to pursue a long time goal of obtaining a university degree.  This entailed me pulling back on my domestic duties and my partner adding some of these duties to his load.  Mostly domesticity fell between the cracks of our ambition but the basics were done and we both made sure our children were encouraged to grow socially and psychologically.  It wasn't always easy but we got there in the end. 

Graduation this week was a feminist statement.  I received my degree in regalia designed for men from an instituion that recognised the rights of women and encouraged their enrolment and I am proud of my acheivement but recognise that if not for those who supported my endeavour my success would have been limited. The simple fact is that without my education, and continuing education in a Masters course, my ability to provide for myself and my family financially would not be possible given that I took the choice to be a full time carer for my children.  I take it to be my responsibility to pursue a career in a profession that will provide myself with satisfaction in work and provide the financial requisites for my ongoing financial independence.

My graduate cohort also included a woman of similar age to me and a commenter on this site.  Tracey is a woman who has worked, married, raised a child, divorced and excelled.  Tracey has attracted academic accolades and is a model for what is possible by women in the middle age.  Tracey was Valedictorian of our graduation group and also received a University Medal for her outstanding efforts in the academy.  Tracey accomplished her academic feat while she financially supported herself through the four year degree.  Such dedication to study takes a toll on social relationships and many of my cohort have found that, as mature age students, we come out of our degree with a different social network than the one we started our university experience with.  

It is through women like Tracey and others that provide me with inspiration and hope for women in Australia.  It is my fervant hope that on this International Women's Day, women are inspired to pursue their dream and that the inspiration leads to a successful accomplishment of that dream. 

Happy International Women's Day!

So I was talking with a man at the pub.......

The man was my partner who sways between pro "gender equity" and anti "feminism". The parentheses around the scare words will become evident as I relay this conversation. I wish that my memory was audio eidetic so i could give you quotes. Suffice it to say my memory is not and so what will follow is a loose portrayal of the conversation I have had with my partner on a number of occasions. The conversation is the one we have most often about feminism and I am pretty sick of it. I will explain why I am sick of it after or through the act of conveying to you the conversation we had. To be fair, I will be asking my partner to have a look over it so I can't be accused of privileging my point of view.



I probably need to lay down some background to this conversation. I am passionate about any type of equality but particularly passionate about gender equality. I often have to define what equality is to people because my idea of it is not shared by many. My feminist views often are received with the same kind of mixed feelings as my ideas about equality. Equality occurs when differences are taken into account in order to provide an even playing field. For example women, being the only sex capable of producing children, need to be provided with certain tools to enable them to participate in society to the same extent as men. That is, women require a different set of conditions to men in order to maintain their political and economic power. Having just read the last few sentences I guess they encapsulate my view of feminism and equality. Equality is the product of social arrangements whereby both sexes are equally represented in conditions that provide their political and economic participation in society. I will elaborate on this argument in later editions of this blog. Given that I have just given a potted definition of equality and feminism I should probably explain the use of "sex" and "gender" in these blogs. Sex is the physiological and biological difference you are born with. Your gender assignment is a social construct that one can either accept or reject. This statement is contentious and probably deserves a complete book devoted to the arguments surrounding it. Again, perhaps a future blog edition will be devoted to it. Back to the conversation I had with my partner.

HE: Look, the problem is that there is so much negative baggage wrapped up in the word feminism. I just think it needs to be changed or nobody is going to listen to you. (This is his main opposition to feminism)

SHE: (I want to say "I see what you're saying" but can't muster it). I have a real problem with what you are saying. Feminism is recognised as a word that encapsulates the view that women and men are treated differently in our society. It brings attention to the plight (hate that word) of women and the issues they face in acquiring economic and political power and equality that is their right.

HE: But what is the point of trying to argue under that banner if the first thing people think of when you say "feminism" is negative?

SHE: If there is that kind of emotion when the "F" word is used there is some kind of recognition that the word means something. Besides, if someone gets their hackles up because the word is used I see it as an opportunity to talk about how I am a feminist and what it means to me. Hopefully this set of circumstances will provide my dialogue partner with some new information and something to think about.

HE: wouldn't it be better to change the name and have a more positive approach.

SHE: I don't think so, the word "feminism" is a way to pay homage to those who came before me to recognise their contribution to the rights I can exercise due to their efforts. I don't see changing the name is a positive move even if another name for what I am arguing for provides a softer more pliable audience. (I want to say "Viva la revolution" but think that might be going a bit far at this point).

The conversation moves around with me saying that I don't think that the banner should be changed and he saying I am fighting a losing battle by using the "F" word as I am alienating my audience before I advance my argument. In that respect, my partner has a valid point. It is difficult to be received neutrally when discussing feminist issues. But I don't think it is because of the banner. I would argue that it is because of the content of the argument. Men I speak to cannot or will not concede that women have drawn the short end of the societal straw simply by virtue of the fact that they are born women. There is no concession for the fact that we have less superannuation, if any, at the end of our working life. Or that the care of children and domestic duties would quite easily be shared under a system where flexible working environments were the norm and provided and expected to be accessed equally by men and women.



The problem with the conversation at the pub is that these kinds of conversations draw you in. As a feminist I want to stand up for feminism. However, I find myself defending it and explaining over and over again that as a political movement, feminism is dynamic. It changes over time. I also have to explain that my agenda is possibly different to the agenda of feminists who have different ideas about what equality is and what their feminism is. This in itself produces strawman arguments that draw one in about feminism being an ununified and therefore unreasonable, emotional and incredible movement (I can see another blog being produced on this subject). Furthermore, I believe fervently that gender equality provides benefits for men. All this explaining is tedious and it detracts from the issues I really want to engage in. Issues like, child care arrangements, education for women, job security, career building, fertility and family planning and a raft of other issues that need to be addressed. So I have made a decision. I will not be drawn into a protracted discussion about the "F" word. I will state my case and endeavour to move the conversation on to more important issues. Perhaps I could direct those who fall into strawman arguments to Dux and Simic (2008) to sort out the detractor arguments from the worthwhile ones. These authors have produced a book that elucidates on other arguments that detract from the real issues. The Great Feminist Denial is a book I recommend to beginner as well as experienced feminists - for a review of this book go to http://www.theage.com.au/news/entertainment/books/book-reviews/the-great-feminist-denial/2008/10/13/1223749917519.html.



More next week or maybe sooner! Become a follower of this blog and share it with you friends.
Thanks for reading.

Mothering is a Feminist Issue

Ok, I can see that this blogging thing is going to start with a possible spurt of enthusiasm. You know how it is, you get a pink and purple spotted car and all of a sudden you see pink and purple spotted cars everywhere you look even though you had never spotted a pink and purple spotted car before you got yours. This is what is happening to me with fem spots!. That is, I see things and think that would go great on my blog. This is just one of them. I hope you enjoy this. I did. Just click on the link below.

Mom 2.0: Defining A Movement